grief: nothing you do (or say) will be right.

IMG_7485, grief, Baby David, say or do

Grief.Words are tricky. And it feels like in this time of grief, words can have good intentions, but be perceived and accepted (by the griever = me) as weird, and maybe even a little inappropriate.

So to those of you who have people in your life that are grieving...I just want you to know...

Nothing you say or do is going to be right. Kind of a lose, lose, huh?

But it's not your fault, or the griever's fault. And if you want my advice, I think you should still say something. Even if it feels awkward, or weird. Or not like the right thing to say. And maybe you should just say the truth, something like, "This feels awkward and uncomfortable for me, I imagine it's way worse for you. But I am thinking of you. And I'm here for you. And I don't know what else to say. But I love you."

I've never been so hard to please in my whole life.

Don't say anything, I feel like you're avoiding me.

Say something, and it's not the right thing (because there IS no right thing).

I don't blame anyone. It just is what it is. And I'm sorry for being so difficult to please.

I didn't ask for this, and you didn't wish this on me. It just happened. And it's awkward. And it sucks. But it happened. And I'm facing it every day, and I hope that if you know someone in your life that is facing something difficult, you don't avoid them just because you feel weird or awkward or uncomfortable.

Just say something. Even if it doesn't feel right. Because it's not going to be right. But at least it's something.