March 11.

March 11. It's been a year.

15HoppCM_0022, Baby David, grief, March 11

March 11 was Baby David's birthday. I have so many thoughts around this. Yes, March 11 was the day he was born. But calling it his birthday, as in "happy birthday" feels weird.

It was a hard day. A weird day. At one point I asked Dave how he felt. He said, "I don't know how to feel."

I couldn't have said it better. I wanted everyone to remember his birthday, but I know that's not realistic. To most, it was just another day. And one could argue, every birthday is just another day. But for us, it wasn't just another day. It's a day we will never forget. Our son was born on that day, which in most cases would be the happiest day of someone's life. But instead we endured the worst pain possible, the deepest, most tragic moment of our lives so far.

I so badly wanted to post on that day, but I just couldn't. It hurt too much to even try to find the words.

Grief sucks. I even hate that word grief. But I'm sure that's all just part of the grief process.

So March 11 came and went, and we're still here a year later, working through each day without him.