I am an enneagram three, which means I am ambitious, competent and energetic, but also status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. The typical problems with my type is workaholism and competitiveness.

Yup. And yup.

Workaholism is a real problem, and sadly it’s glorified in our society. I’m pushing back hard against the hustle culture, the need to be productive, the grind.

I have always been an achiever. I loved getting getting good grades in school, and rarely got anything less than an A. I loved the validation and felt driven to go to college and graduate school, and get a career. It was what I knew, what felt like the right thing to do, and was, at the time.

A few things in my life have completely shaken up my hamster wheel of achievement, success, and productivity, and unfortunately for me, it took major loss in my life to knock me down a few pegs and make me realize that my work was not my worth. That what I produce was not going to give me joy.

I’m not beating myself up for the achievements I’ve had and worked for. They have brought me to where I am today, and for that I am grateful. But now I know what I know, it’s time to take a break. Take some rest. And detach myself from my constant need to be doing. That need is covering up my deeper issue, which is that I am fearful of what happens if I just stop. Will the whole world come crashing down? What happens if I don’t produce? Will my life be enough?

What happens if instead I spend my time creating, for creativity’s sake? What happens if I carve out time in my schedule for nothing? To simply just be? To laugh, relax, play, and enjoy? What happens if I don’t plan the end of the year? What happens if I don’t plan 2022?

I’m asking myself all of these questions, and I challenge you to ask yourself too.

Are you grinding and hustling because it’s what you’ve always done? Is it your habit and routine to get up day after day and work til you can’t anymore, then attempt to be present in your life after that? Does hustling give you comfort? Help you avoid some deeper feelings?

Busy-ness is something you can control. All the tasks on your to-do list are something that you can spend time doing, because if you aren’t doing, who are you? If you aren’t producing, who are you?

Creative energy is inside all of us. We were created and we are creators. That energy is itching to be released, you just have to give it space and time to come out. It’s time to create just to create. To enjoy the process with no expectation of the outcome. Start small, and draw a simple picture with a pen and paper, or maybe go to your kitchen and create a yummy dish that you’ve been wanting to try. You get to choose what creativity is to you.

Choose creativity over productivity, just for a few moments every day and you’ll experience more joy.