Dear 18 Year Old Mary

Dear 18 Year Old Mary-

You have so much to offer this world.

You have so much to give.

You can and will do anything you set your mind to. 

Seize every opportunity to learn, to travel, to do all the things. But remember, don’t do too much, or work a job you hate because you feel like you have to. Life’s too short to do stuff you that doesn’t serve you, so don’t waste your time on it.

Believe in yourself. You are not defined by what you look like and you don’t have to be skinny to be successful. Your body is amazing, work on loving it.

Don’t let any boy make you feel like you're not absolutely amazing and perfect. Because you are. When someone you love disappoints you, remember, it isn’t about you. It’s about them and their insecurities. They aren’t doing it intentionally, they are only doing their best. Although it may not feel like that, it’s true. They are doing what they know how to do to the best of their abilities. Not everyone is thinking of you all the time. They are thinking of themselves. And that’s okay. It’s your job to think of you. So take care of yourself. Talk to someone when you’re sad. Keep to yourself when you need time. Don’t drink too much alcohol (but have fun!). Choose good foods to nourish yourself. And when you see yourself losing control, come back to taking care of yourself. You deserve it. You are worth it. 

You are going to try a lot of things. You might not always “succeed.” Do them anyways. You are going to inspire a lot of people. People you don’t know. People you won’t know. And you won’t know the true impact you have and will have. That doesn’t matter, keep doing what you’re doing. You have so much to offer. You will get some feedback that feels good, you are helping other people, and I know, as a giver, you thrive off that. And that’s okay, but remember, it’s about you too. Don’t give too much to others, and remember yourself. You will go through a phase where you think you don’t want to get married, and you don’t want to have kids, but you’ll change your mind. Not everyone will hurt you like you’ve been hurt before and your marriage doesn’t have to look like your parent’s marriage or anyone around you. It’s up to you to decide how you show up for your relationships. Don’t bring that baggage in to something wonderful. 

You have a huge heart, and care deeply. This also means you will have heartache. You will struggle and go through times that feel like you just can’t go on. But you will. Somehow you will figure out how to take the mess and the pain, and turn it in to something beautiful. You will share with others the things you struggle with and they will be inspired. 

Always believe in yourself. You can do anything you want to do and you are meant to inspire others. You have so much to give. You are amazing. 

Never take life for granted and never say no to time with your family. You will never get time back. It goes quickly and just keeps going. Your family knows you the best and that is both scary and awesome. Be open to what your family thinks and tells you but also know you know yourself the best, so move forward with what your heart is telling you. 

You can’t go wrong in this life if you’re doing the things you love to do and surrounding yourself with the people you love.

Love,

37 year old Mary