A few weeks ago, I sat down with my friend Amie Reed Skwiat, therapist and life coach to listen to her story of self discovery and healing. So many nuggets of wisdom were shared during our conversation, but this was one of the biggest take aways for me.

We were chatting about what it’s like to live in survival mode. It’s really difficult, if not impossible to change how you think and view the world when you are just trying to get by. It comes back to our basic human needs and our #1 need is to be safe and secure. Here’s what unraveled in our conversation.

Amie: The #1 place to start is working on feeling safe and secure.

Mary: It’s human nature to seek safety and security, but do you think how we do that is universal? Or do you think that everybody has their own way of feeling safe and secure?

Amie: I think everybody has their own way.

Mary: So what would be some ways to do that in a healthy manner?

Amie: So my biggest thing is to journal your thoughts.

We have this brain, and there are a million bits of information coming in every second. All of these distractions just allow for avoidance.

So for someone to figure out how they don't feel safe, they need to sit with that, and then write those thoughts down, you want to get those thoughts out of your brain, so it's not taking up energy.

When you see it on paper, you understand what's happening inside of you.

I think that that would be number one: sitting with what makes you uncomfortable.

What are you defending yourself against? We're walking through life defending ourselves, and that's what we do all the time. That's what victimhood is. Why are you doing that?

What part of you doesn't feel safe?

Why do you not feel safe? Because if you're in that place where you don't feel safe, then your body is constantly in this anxiety mode of fight, flight or freeze, and you won't be able to go any deeper.

You’re just surviving.

Oof. How many of us are just surviving? And wouldn’t it feel amazing to THRIVE?

Join us for a writing workshop to heal and dig in deeper to this conversation.