What are your labels?

You know when you’re friends with someone and they say something that makes you feel complete awe and inspiration? That’s what happened the other day when I was reading a post my friend Kat wrote on instagram. She has a way with words. She is true, honest, raw, and real, all characteristics I aspire to be in my writing and my life. Her words needed more space than just one post on instagram, so I asked her if I could publish them on my blog, so they could live here forever, and reach more people.

The following are wise words from Kat Perry (@the.kat.perry)

Are you shy?⁣
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Or maybe that’s the label your mom used to describe you growing up because it took you time before you felt comfortable engaging with new people.⁣
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As humans we naturally put people in “boxes” (not literally, don’t be creepy). It’s how we process bulk information. We categorize behaviors, clothing, preferences and we label them so we can make sense of it all.⁣
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The problem is, these labels can carry much more weight than we realize.⁣
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What are your labels? Big sister? Baby of the family? Are you an introvert? A perfectionist? A social butterfly?⁣
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These labels aren’t inherently good or bad. But they can become healthy or unhealthy depending upon the meaning we give them, and how they shape our decisions and how we perceive ourselves.⁣
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I spent so many years not knowing who I was. I became a chameleon, trying on different clothes and personality traits of the people I hung out with.⁣
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Remember these sketchers? I HATED them. I thought they were hideous.⁣

I owned two pairs.⁣
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I didn’t know what I liked, so I did the next best thing. I did what everyone else was doing.⁣
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We spend an absurd amount of our lives trying to fit in. We fly under the radar by making choices that don’t stand out, and desiring things that fall into the realm of “normal” and “acceptable.”⁣
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Even if that means wearing shoes that make you cringe in middle school or drinking with friends instead of trying the rock climbing wall in college.⁣
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Don’t get me wrong, there were times I doubled down on my “knowing” about who I really was and what I wanted. Anyone who saw me wearing toe socks with sandals in high school can attest to that 😅.⁣
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What I didn’t recognize until 15 years later was how to tap into that “knowing.” How to look at a pair of shoes or weekend plans and really ask myself, “is this what I want? Is this right for me?”⁣
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It’s fucking hard.⁣
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Because sometimes the answer means we might disappoint someone else.⁣
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What if I told you something that would allow you to release the guilt and fear of disappointing others?⁣
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What if I told you that the only way you can disappoint someone is if you abandon yourself just to make them happy?⁣