Thoughts on 37 weeks.

Today marks 37 weeks. 

photo cred: Jami Milne.

photo cred: Jami Milne.

We are so, so close. 

I have so many emotions, thoughts, and feelings, but mostly the anticipation and excitement wins over all of it.  In 2, maybe 3 weeks, we will have a baby joining us (and maybe before!)

I taught my last yoga class a couple weeks ago, at 35 weeks. I feel so fortunate that I was able to keep teaching yoga throughout my pregnancy. And this week, I went to class, and plan to go each week until this baby makes his/her debut! Yoga has so many benefits, both physical and mental and especially for my stretched and bulky body, and my anxious and nervous mind! 

We are up to once a week doctor appointments and have had extra testing (non stress and ultrasounds) every week to make sure baby is still doing okay! And so far, so good! I am ready to be done with weekly appointments, but I know it is temporary, and worth it. 

I love this photo of the front of the baby's face. The ultrasound was showing chubby cheeks and hair. :)

I was so fortunate to have our friend Jami drive up from Des Moines to spend the afternoon with me on Tuesday, snapping photos of my belly. I have only seen a few of her shots so far, but I know I am going to be so grateful that she documented this time. 

photo cred: Jami Milne.

photo cred: Jami Milne.

It is a time of waiting. We are resting, and sleeping in (while we still can) and enjoying our time just the three of us (Lena is ready to be a big sister too!) 

The outpouring of love for this sweet baby has been overwhelming (in a good way) and so, so appreciated. 

Have a Merry Christmas everyone! 




thoughts on 28 weeks

28 weeks. 

We made it. 

This is the moment in my pregnancy where I breathe a sigh of relief.  

We had a doctor's appointment last week, at 27 weeks.  

It was a year and a half ago where we went to the same appointment, at 27 weeks, with David, where I drank that delicious orange drink in preparation for my glucose screen, and then was given the worst news of my life. 

But this 27 week appointment was different. I left the clinic on cloud nine. The baby's heart beat is strong. His/her head is measuring at 29 weeks (yikes!) and everything else is measuring right where it should. At 27+ weeks.

I've been waiting for this. I needed this appointment to go well. I needed this pregnancy to go well.

And so far, so good!

I had a minor set back and had to go in for the 4 hour glucose screen, but good news, I passed! 

I'm starting to expand around the middle. I'm feeling WAY more movement and I LOVE IT.  I love every minute of it. 

I'm still craving sweettarts, but definitely finding more ways to get those delicious seasonal root vegetables and greens into my diet. 

I'm not worried about my weight, I'm staying active, doing yoga 2-3 times/week and I'm still spinning (although I'm nearing the end of this) once/week. 

We are allowing ourselves to envision what our lives are going to be like in January. It's going to be here so soon!

And I'm letting myself get excited. Knowing nothing is guaranteed, but also knowing things are different.  

I can't wait to meet this little nugget.

expecting my second.


Lately I have noticed myself feeling a little defensive when I am given unsolicited and not-asked-for advice on being pregnant or giving birth. I blame the pregnancy hormones, or maybe the waves of emotion that go along with grief, but I want to scream, "This is not my first! I've done this before! I don't need your opinions!" But many people don't know that. And at first glance, how would they know: I don't have a toddler clinging to my hip, or cheerios stuck to my butt (the universal signs of motherhood, right?)  Even if people know about Baby David, I truly believe it just makes some people uncomfortable to acknowledge it, so they don't, and treat this as my first. (ps. even if a woman doesn't have this to deal with, a lot of time pregnancy advice isn't needed or wanted, unless the woman asks)

This pregnancy is different. They all are. But in my case, I look back on carrying David, and I can't really put my finger on it, but it was different. We lost David at 27 weeks, in reality, he likely passed away several weeks before that. We hadn't prepared anything for bringing home a baby, no crib, no little baby clothes were bought. It's almost like we subconsciously knew he would never be coming home with us. Of course, we didn't know, but I can't help but wonder why we weren't preparing.

With this baby, despite the fear and anxiety, we have done a bit more preparing. We have a crib. I've bought a few things for the nursery to decorate the walls. I've started emptying out my sister's basement and collecting a basinet, nursing tanks, a breast pump. 

I can't explain it, but it's different. I'm excited, yet scared. With anything in life there are lots of unknowns. Each pregnancy, birth, and child are different, and this second child of mine deserves all the excitement, happiness, and joy that goes along with expecting a baby. So I intend to give it that, all while remembering his (or her!) sweet Big Brother David.