Giving up perfect

I recently discovered that I can blog from my phone... which is why you’ve been seeing more posts from me.   HOORAY!

After having holtan, I just couldn’t find the time to take the perfect pictures, edit them, write a blog post, edit it, and perfect it, from my computer—who has time for that?! I would do one or 2 of these things, and never to completion, and never get around to hitting publish.  

Well, the whole point of this blog is to document. Write about my feelings, our life, anything I want to really.  

And for now, I’m back because I’ve found an easier, less time consuming way to document.

And I’m giving up the “perfect.” 

I think every mom can agree, if you have kids, life just isn’t going to be picture perfect.  It’s going to be far from it. 


So as I sit here and fold laundry while Holtan unfolds it just as quickly ...I have to just smile to myself. Because man, these are the days ...they’re not perfect but for me, they are perfect.  


thoughts on 28 weeks

28 weeks. 

We made it. 

This is the moment in my pregnancy where I breathe a sigh of relief.  

We had a doctor's appointment last week, at 27 weeks.  

It was a year and a half ago where we went to the same appointment, at 27 weeks, with David, where I drank that delicious orange drink in preparation for my glucose screen, and then was given the worst news of my life. 

But this 27 week appointment was different. I left the clinic on cloud nine. The baby's heart beat is strong. His/her head is measuring at 29 weeks (yikes!) and everything else is measuring right where it should. At 27+ weeks.

I've been waiting for this. I needed this appointment to go well. I needed this pregnancy to go well.

And so far, so good!

I had a minor set back and had to go in for the 4 hour glucose screen, but good news, I passed! 

I'm starting to expand around the middle. I'm feeling WAY more movement and I LOVE IT.  I love every minute of it. 

I'm still craving sweettarts, but definitely finding more ways to get those delicious seasonal root vegetables and greens into my diet. 

I'm not worried about my weight, I'm staying active, doing yoga 2-3 times/week and I'm still spinning (although I'm nearing the end of this) once/week. 

We are allowing ourselves to envision what our lives are going to be like in January. It's going to be here so soon!

And I'm letting myself get excited. Knowing nothing is guaranteed, but also knowing things are different.  

I can't wait to meet this little nugget.

our rainbow baby

i'm so excited to officially announce, we are expecting our rainbow baby in january!

the term rainbow baby is used a lot in the "baby loss community" to describe the baby that follows the loss of a child. 



we miss baby david every single day.  being pregnant with my second child has brought a lot of feelings and emotions, but mostly, i'm just so darn grateful.

grateful that my body was able to support another pregnancy.

grateful that we have made it this far.

grateful that i get to experience pregnancy again, this time hoping for a more positive outcome.  

grateful that we WILL get to meet this little life.  

grateful for my whole journey: the excitement, the heart ache, the anxiety, the grief, and the hope; every last bit of it.

totally relaxed and chilling with his/her feet up and crossed 

totally relaxed and chilling with his/her feet up and crossed 

this journey is certainly bittersweet.