Here I am cruising through the second trimester. I can't believe I have made it this far.
I try not to think too hard about it. I am 24 weeks. We lost David at my 27 week appointment, but based on his size, he probably passed around 23 or 24 weeks. I can't help but be a little bit anxious about this time in my pregnancy. I know this is a different experience, a different pregnancy, and a different baby. When the anxiety starts to creep up, I hear that voice telling myself, you can breathe a deep sign of relief once you hit that 28+ mark, or when the baby is born and in your arms, but I know it isn't over at these milestones. There is always going to be anxiety and fear. I will worry when he/she is sound asleep in their crib and I don't hear a sound. I will worry when I have to leave the baby in someone else's care for the first time. I will worry. I know I will. But I think all parent's have these worries. I just need to make sure these worries aren't taking over my thinking. So far, I'm doing well. In fact, I can't believe how well I'm doing, knowing that anything can happen at any time, and that THE WORST has happened to me.
But I know you don't get the great things in life without a little fear, but also with a lot of faith and trust. I have to trust that the outcome of this pregnancy will be nothing short of amazing. We will meet and hold this baby, and watch him/her grow up. There's nothing else I can do but have these hopes.
So that's how I'm doing emotionally.
Physically, I am starting to get a bump. I LOVE IT. I want it to get bigger and bigger. I feel like it is the cutest thing ever, and am totally amazed at my body right now.
I'm feeling great. I don't have much to complain about. I don't have aches and pains yet. I'm still participating in spin class once a week, yoga at least twice a week, and lots of walking. Limited heart burn, I can eat what I want, and am trying to be conscious of drinking lots of water.
I've never made it into the third trimester, and those of you that have are probably laughing at me right now, saying, "Oh you just wait..."
And that might be true. But I still think I will welcome the aches and pain, the bloatedness and swelling, the heartburn, and whatever else might come with the third trimester. I'm hoping that despite all of these things, I will just continue to be in awe and amazement of the miracle of what's happening, and I will be able to endure the short term side effects knowing the end result will be nothing short of amazing.