The response to my weight watcher's post encouraged me to write a little more on the subject of weight and body image. I've had a few posts that I've started, but haven't had the guts to finish, but when I see others facing the same or similar issues, it makes it a little easier to share. When I was in Hawaii, I was really relaxed, but I still wasn't "comfortable." When Dave would take a picture of me, and I would look at it, I didn't see the beautiful sunset or the mountains reaching to the coast, the first thing I saw was the extra weight I am carrying. When I put on my jean shorts from last summer and they were tight, all I could think about was that extra weight.
One night in Hawaii, I made Dave take a bunch a photos of me so I could post in my swap group. I wanted to share that I was wearing a handed down jumpsuit from my friend's mom who sells Cabi (thanks Jan!). I didn't post any of the pics, because none of them were "good enough." But, after pondering why I have so many negative thoughts about my body and how I look in a picture, I decided to be brave, and just share them anyway. Here are a few of the best ones.....
That's why I'm not a fashion blogger-ha!
But being serious, why am I so hard on myself? And why do I care so much about what people think?
I had a baby (a year ago) and was faced with overwhelming grief after that, and I have to admit, I found a lot of comfort in food. I loosened up my rules on what I do and do not eat, and a few months later, here I am, 20 pounds heavier than I would like.
I don't have the perfect answer to change these thoughts about myself. My first step is to change my eating habits (cue weight watchers). But in the process of that I know I need to show my body more gratitude and my mind more grace.
I'm not perfect. I never will be. And the reality is, I don't think I ever want to be.
Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself, and not had one negative or judgmental thought?
Yea, me either.
But let's change that.