I wrote this post awhile back, but never hit publish. After being asked about how I decided to take the plunge into business ownership, I started to think about what we're doing, and how things are going. While I love working for myself, I still struggle with the transition at times. The shift to being a seasonal business owner has been a challenge. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for the flexibility in my schedule, and I truly love the opportunities that have come my way. However, the schedule is so different from our previous 8-5 jobs. It's a total shift, and sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough. Even though deep down I know I am working a lot (and maybe too much, depends who you ask), I still struggle with guilt when I take time off.
This guilt is something I'm putting on myself. No one is monitoring how I spend my time, except me. I may not start work until 10 am some mornings, but some nights I'm still working at 10 pm.
I worry that we're not going to make enough money if I'm not working more outside of the home. I forget that what I'm doing is my work now, it's just different than I'm used to. I'm the bookkeeper, and manage all the finances, and to be honest, sometimes it doesn't feel like work because I do it from home.
I spend a lot of time in my own head, playing mental games with myself. Feeling the guilt, then trying to convince myself that the guilt I'm feeling is unnecessary. I know I'm wasting a lot of energy on these feelings of guilt. I know that its a mental shift that I'm needing to make, and I'm working on it (for 2 years now!!). It's just taking some time to get there.
Why do we put guilt on ourselves? Are we spending time thinking too much about what others are thinking of us? Are we worried about disappointing those around us? Or ourselves? Is guilt really necessary? How do you stop it?
Does anyone else struggle with guilt? And if so, how do you combat it?
Here's a similar post I wrote last winter about our shift to seasonal business ownership.