5 things i’ve learned from being in the shittiest club on earth

Sorry for the profanity, but there really is no other word that describes it. Losing a baby is super shitty and the worst.


After Baby David died, my friend (who lost her sweet baby girl) said to me, “Welcome to the shittiest club ever.” And she’s right. It’s a club I want no other parent to ever join again and a club I will never get to leave, I'm here for life.

While it is THE WORST, I do have to say I have learned a thing or 2 being in this shitty club.

Here are 5 things I’ve learned:

1. I’m strong. I didn’t want to be strong. Or brave. Or anything. I just wanted to be a mom. But here I am, powering through the months after Baby David died, learning a new normal and realizing I am strong enough to get through this.

2. I’m ready. When I was pregnant, I was scared. I was worried that maybe we weren’t ready for a baby, I had my reservations. But when that was ripped away from us, it made me realize I’m ready. Dave is ready. We are ready. We have so much to give and share with our kids.

3. Don’t hold back and don’t hide from your feelings. “Feelings are meant to be felt.” (Thanks BethAnn). So true. Feel what you feel, it’s not right or wrong, it just is. And don’t hold yourself back, do what feels right for you, be true to who you really are.

Which brings me to:

4. Follow your dreams. Life is way too short to be monkeying around doing things that make you miserable. If you’re unhappy, change something. You’re the product of the environment you choose and there is hope for any situation. The good thing about hitting rock bottom is there is only one way to go from there: UP.

5. Please, please, please, never take children for granted. EVER. If you’re a parent, I imagine there are difficult days. But just remember, we have a lot to learn from kids. When a child is not focused or not listening, maybe that's a clue for you to slow down. Get on their level. Try to picture the world from their perspective. Kids live moment to moment and truly feel the joy in their experiences. They are a great reminder to enjoy life, day by day.

After all, we are only given this one life.

So make it a good one.